Fear of criticisms
Most of us have been criticized at least once, and the negative emotions we experienced when criticized could be a deterrent and something we would rather avoid at all costs. Hence we tend to not do what we were criticized on, perhaps we even procrastinate to a point of not doing anything. The worse and most painful of the criticisms may be from our loved ones, those who know us more than anyone else. Perhaps it hurts the most because we feel there is an element of truth in what they are criticizing us on, as they know us better than most. Perhaps it hurts the most because we believe we are not good enough, and may never be.
But why would people criticize?
– I think some people criticize others so they could reduce others to something or someone of less value and ability than themselves.
– Secondly, for people with low self-worth and who have being criticized more than few times before, criticizing others is the only thing they know.
Those who have never received or hardly receive compliments are less likely and cannot give compliments. I guess they are not able to give what they don’t have, right? Wrong! Learnt behaviors can be un-learnt…. or at least be replaced by new ones if and when we put an effort into it!
As human beings, our mind is wired to help us avoid pain, hence we are prone to avoid criticisms as they are painful, at least most of the time. There are negative impacts avoidance of criticism or the pain brought about by criticism have on our lives;
– Firstly, I think it prevents us from thinking differently from the rest, from standing out and being outstanding,
– Secondly it prevents us from trying new things and implementing new ideas, and from innovating.
– Thirdly, it destroys the power of imagination and limits individuality.
So, the question is: How not to be bothered by criticism to the point of incapacity and how to make sure criticism, or fear thereof, or even avoidance of pain, don’t prevent us from living out best lives?
Here are things to consider before you decide to allow pain to incapacitate you:
– you would be criticized the more if you are a failure and you don’t achieve anything in your lifetime.
– Those who pull you down are beneath you.
– Public success is a good revenge to your critics
– Dogs don’t bark at stationery vehicles
– Your failure or inaction doesn’t help anyone
– criticism is the price for success (are you willing to pay it?)
– criticisms might help you identify your weakness and areas of improvement
We are not responsible for what people say or do to us, we are responsible for how we react to what they do or say. If we choose to avoid criticisms by not doing anything, we cannot blame the would-have-been-critics for our unfulfilled live, unrealized dreams and mediocre existence!