How can I forgive?
Forgiveness is process through which victims undergo changes in attitude regarding an offense, and let go of vengefulness, instead wish the offender well, voluntarily and intentionally, and mean it from the bottom of their heart. Forgiveness comes after pain or disappointment and it is difficult the most if pain and disappointment are still felt and remembered.
We find it hard to forgive because…
– we still feel pain and disappointment for what had happened to us.
– we lost something/someone we might never get back due to the offense.
– forgiving forces us to relinquish excuses or apportioning a blame to someone else for our unfulfilled lives and unrealized dreams.
Forgiveness is reciprocal… or shared and spread…
Matthew 6:14-15… For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Hebrews 10:17… Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.
Matthew 6:12… Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Mark 11: 25… And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. ”
None of us is perfect and need forgiveness, at least once in a while. So we should be ready to forgive.
Here are few things to remember:
– realize that the dislike you may ‘feel’ for your offender does not harm your offender the way you want or think
– realize that the best revenge is to live happily and successfully no matter what happened to you
– list all good things that emerged out of this painful experience and you may realize your pain was not in vain
– list all good things you forgo by holding on to unforgiveness, such as focusing on your goals and reaching them
– understand that the word ‘forgive’ literally means ‘untie’. That is; forgiving your offender unties you from hatred, unhappiness and bondage
– knowing that forgiveness is obedience to God’s Word
– nothing annoys your enemy more that forgiving them for their wrongdoing, especially those who meant to destroy you
– decide to forgive and depend on God to give the strength and ability to forgive, as it may not be easy even possible to do it on your own.
Clearly forgiveness is hard, but it is harder to live God’s purpose for your life carrying a baggage of unforgiveness. Real forgiveness is not granted only under the condition that the offender asked for it, yet necessary to untie you. So, intie yourself and live a free life, free of poison of unforgiveness .